Do you love it? Or do you LOVE it???!!!

3 chapters…

01.

It was a casual family dinner - my extended family, mum, brother, niece, nephews around the dinner table. We were talking about a teen TV series that my daughter, my niece and myself are loving right now. Yes, we might have been gushing. Yes, we were gushing. And that’s when my brother grinned, pointed at me and said, “Look at Jodie, it’s like she’s 14 years old again.” He was teasing me. Baiting me. Being a big brother. Like he’s done all of his life. I brushed him off. But that interaction stayed with me a bit longer than I thought it might. Because my first response was to feel a little ashamed. Not full blown shame. But a bit embarrassed. Grown women shouldn’t act like 14 year olds, should they? That was the feeling. Don’t be silly. Act your age. Grow up, already.

02.

I’ve since processed that moment and I know that there’s nothing to be ashamed of. I can be a grown woman and I can still sometimes feel and sound like a 14 year old. It’s not immaturity. It’s not irresponsibility. And it’s not living in some daydream world either. It’s being a human person who was once a human teen. And it’s not just true for me. It’s true for my brother too. When he talks excitedly about his next motor bike adventure like a kid who’s tasting freedom for the first time and who has zero real responsibilities, I can see it in him. The teen in the adult. The grown man who sounds like a 16 year old. And that’s because our teens never really leave us. They stay, they hang out and sometimes they burst forth. That’s normal and as it should be.

03.

In fact, my Inner Teen wants to burst forth right now! I want to calmly tell you about how the concept of Inner Child is now quite common, and also how we actually have multiple inner children but for simplicity’s sake, it’s often referred to in the singular. But my Inner Teen is like, “Forget that boring preamble, Jodie, and get to the good stuff!!!!” This is it: We also have an Inner Teen (in fact, multiple inner teens). But we don’t talk about our Inner Teens nearly enough. It’s a major oversight because, man, they are interesting! They are the ones who had all of those potent first time experiences - experimenting, pushing boundaries, falling in love, falling out of love. And they are also the ones who LOVED that band or song or TV show or movie or activity. And not just loved them but LOVED them!!!! I recently found some old notes and letters that my friends and I used to write each other when we were at school - way before smart phones and social media, obviously - and they were full of emotions with the dial turned up to 27 gazillion!!!! And yes, lots of exclamation marks!!!! My Inner Teen is saying, “Derr, how else can you describe how you’re REALLY feeling????” You can’t, obvs. I love my Inner Teen(s). And I’m so glad she’s making an appearance at my family dinners and directing me to watch and LOVE that teen TV show. Because her energy feels like vitality. It feels like aliveness. And it feels like a fuller, more hopeful, more invigorated version of me. Because she is me, derr.

3 endnotes…

1. Talking of teen TV shows, the third and final season of Young Royals is finally here! OMG this is beautiful TV. Season 01 was exquisite. Season 02 was importnat for furthering the story, and now, I can’t wait to see how it concludes.

2. I’ve also been watching One Day on Netflix. So far it’s reminding me of Normal People. Dumb boy. Forgiving Girl. But also boy with redeeming qualities. And girl with her own issues. I’m half way through and I’m invested in this relationship.

3. We’ve just emerged from a major heatwave here in Adelaide. Scorching throughout the day and still warm overnight. Great for drinking G&Ts but not so great for a good night’s sleep. A coolish change has just swept through and it’s been lovely to throw open the house and let some fresh air circulate. Simple pleasures!