I used to think that creating space for what’s important was about time management, prioritising, efficiency, productivity, and even purpose.
Nope. Not even close. Now I know that they are all distractions from the real work.
It took me years, decades, to realise that, in fact, all my efforts to become more efficient and effective, organised and on task, productive and purposeful were what led me to burnout, three times.
So not only were they not helping, they were actually making things worse.
I was never a disorganised person or one who lacked initiative or someone who didn’t love a plan - a strategic plan, a business plan, a weekly plan, a daily plan. Give me all the plans.
But all that planning was a cover for one almighty, deep, underlying fear.
Call it uncertainty or lack of control or fear of the unknown. But at its heart, it was fear of fear itself.
I did not like fear or any of its iterations. I wanted them gone, eradicated, exterminated.
Because once they were gone, I could get on with things - manage the time, do the tasks, execute the plan. I could get busy.
And if I focused solely on managing the time, doing the tasks and executing the plan, and not how I was feeling physically or emotionally, well then, there was no uncertainty, only productivity. And then I could achieve the things that would make me feel good physically and emotionally, right?
Not so much.
Because every so often, I would put my head above the parapet and wonder why all this effort, hard work, hard graft, weren’t leading me to the nirvana results envisaged in my strategic, business, weekly and daily plans.
And why even when I hit an objective, reached a goal, secured a win, I didn’t feel celebratory or even satisfied. I just felt empty.
What’s with that?
According to certain parts of me, that was because I wasn’t executing the plan well enough or the plan itself wasn’t good enough. Either I or the plan weren’t enough. Time for a new plan!
But this time, I decided to chuck out the plan and try something different. I got immediate push back.
You can’t spend all your time creating! We’ve got stuff to do. Important stuff!
What important stuff?
We’ve got to stick to the plan, remember!
But we chucked out the plan. No more plans.
What, no! We need to make another plan. Quick create a plan or ten but make sure they all align with your vision, mission and purpose. Now, Jodie, now!
I don’t want to.
What the?
I want to try another way. I want to see if this uncertainty, lack of control, the unknown, fear of fear itself, can be welcomed. Maybe there’s some value, some hidden wisdom here.
Crazy talk.
Let’s try. In fact, we’re already doing it. You know what happens when we write our novels? When we face a blank page or a blank screen? When we sit in the unknown? You know what happens. Anything and everything.
In the unknown, anything and everything is possible. There is unlimited potential. There is pure creativity.
What emerges might not be what was planned. We might not be efficient or productive. We might ‘waste a lot of time’. We might not even be purposeful.
But what we’re doing is creating space for what’s important.
Huh. I suppose you’re right.
So maybe we can apply that same principle to everything we do? To this Substack? To our life? Maybe we don’t need to plan, maybe we just need to be okay in the unknown.
Befriend the unknown, huh?
Yes, that’s how we create space for what’s important.
Now I understand why I burnt out so many times. I was doing the busy work but not the real work.
I wasn’t supposed to eradicate fear with busyness or even feel the fear and do it anyway. I was meant to be with the fear, release control and sit in the unknown.
It’s not busy work. It’s inner work. It’s not creating space in our schedule. It’s creating space within. It’s not aiming for productivity. It’s aiming for potentiality.
I’m terribly inefficient these days and I hardly plan anything. But without all that busyness, trying to cover up the fear, I’ve got a lot more space for what’s important.
“It’s not busy work. It’s inner work. It’s not creating space in our schedule. It’s creating space within. It’s not aiming for productivity. It’s aiming for potentiality.”
I love this🤍 all is so relatable.
Thank you for this post!
I feel you on this one. Been there and done that too. Currently sitting with my un-busyness and learning that stillness and quiet aren't as scary as I thought. Although that's probably because I've been working my butt off on the inner work part! And you are right, it is work! But, the kind where you don't feel empty at the end of it. Loved your piece.