The Process…Process your year
In fact, it’s helpful at any time of the year…
You can feel it, right? That end of year energy.
A complex mix of festivities and responsibilities, celebrations and obligations as we attempt to round out the calendar year and finish all the things before the holiday season.
It’s around this time that I begin to feel bone tired and in definite need of a pattern interrupt. Fortunately, with summer holidays here in Australia, we tend to take longer than a week to destress and indulge in some downtime. Phew.
It’s also a common time to reflect, recast an eye over the year that was and maybe even begin pondering the new year. That’s why we often see a vast array of ‘reflect on your year’ invitations.
I’ve completed many over the years and have found them relatively helpful. But I’ve also often found myself answering 20 million questions, okay 20 odd questions, without much engagement or true insight.
Why does that happen? How is that we can reflect without gaining significant meaning?
Well, the question is, which part of you is answering those questions?
Is it your deeper intuitive, soul-led, Self? The one who is concerned about your highest good, being uniquely you, growing and evolving as a person?
Or is it a part of you that just wants to get the practice done? Their goal isn’t deeper insight, it’s completing the task. Tick!
Or is it a part of you that’s trying to avoid a deeper truth? Their goal is to obscure, obstruct, distract and divert your attention to something that seems significant but isn’t the true gold.
Or is it a part of you that’s skeptical about this whole ‘reflect on your year’ rubbish and doesn’t really want this to be too hard or take too long or lead to anything insightful that might disrupt current programming?
Or is it a part of you that’s tired of all this personal development palaver and just wants to be over the self-improvement? They want to be okay with not being okay just for a minute, let’s not find anything else we need to change.
Or is it a part of you that just wants to do it right? They want the responses to ‘sound good’ and appear to be significant rather than be truly meaningful?
Or is it a part of you that loves these processes but not for the insight. They just love the idea of being someone who does this kind of reflection. We’re a good, self-developing person because we’re doing the questions.
I could go on…but I’m hoping you get the point. These reflective practices are most helpful when we’re responding from Self, our core essence, rather than one of our parts.
Okay, so how do we reflect from the right place to generate the most helpful responses? Here’s my suggestion.
We alter the practice a little. We don’t just sit down with a list of questions and respond. Instead, we create a space within, in our inner world, to explore a few poignant rather than a massive list of questions.
I’m going to describe the process here and share with you what happened when I did it.
Then you can have a go yourself using the guided process and journal download. Okay here goes…
The Process of processing your year…
You’re invited to close your eyes, take a few deep breaths and check-in by noticing any thoughts, feeling or sensations that are present with you right now. No need to judge or try to get rid of anything, simply notice what’s present.
Then imagine that, within you, there is a sacred space, a place were deeper insights reside and emerge. You might be able to see the space, it might be a room or a place in nature. Or it might simply be a feeling or a knowing.
Imagine that you are at the centre of this sacred space, present with a deeper sense of calm, compassion and curiosity. See or feel yourself at the centre of your sacred space.
Let all of your parts know that you’re about to conduct a reflective practice to gain some insights into the year that was. Ask any parts who are interested in this process to take a seat surrounding the sacred space.
Let your audience know that you are going to invite one or more of your parts to share their feedback. Ask that they only come forward when prompted rather than flooding into the sacred space and taking over. If a part doesn’t get a chance to share today, there will be other opportunities. Ask that they trust the process.
Connect back to your inherent sense of calm, compassion and curiosity at the centre of your sacred space. Then ask one representative part to come forward to answer the question, “Based on our year, what are we most scared or fearful of right now? What is our biggest concern or worry?”
Listen to the part’s concerns with a sense of calm, compassion and curiosity. If you notice any judgement or distraction or skepticism or irritation appearing, ask those parts to return to their seats and give you space to hear the fears clearly.
Once the fearful part has expressed its concerns, ask, “What do you need from me to feel less scared?” And “Is there anything else you need me to know right now?”
Thank the part for sharing with you today and invite it to take a seat in the sacred space next to you.
Now, invite one representative part to come forward to answer the question, “Based on our year, what are we most excited and hopeful about? What is our deepest desire or our biggest dream?”
Listen to the part’s dreams and wishes with the same sense of calm, compassion and curiosity. Again, if you notice any judgement or distraction or skepticism or irritation appearing, ask those parts to return to their seats and give you space to hear the desires clearly.
Once the excited part has expressed its hopes and dreams, ask, “What do you need from me to feel even more excited, more hopeful?” And “Is there anything else you need me to know right now?”
Thank the part for sharing with you today and invite it to take a seat in the sacred space on the other side of you.
Assure both parts that you have heard their fears and concerns and their hopes and wishes and that you are now going to let their wisdom percolate and integrate. Thank all of the other parts in your audience for supporting the process too.
Then when you’re ready, you can open your eyes and journal your responses.
Here’s what happened when I completed the process…
First, I noticed a performative part. Knowing that I was sharing this process here, it wanted me to write something that sounded good. I also had a part that was a bit worried about the sharing. Both parts were reassured and invited to sit in the audience.
The fearful part that came forward was the one that knows I’ve had a big desire and dream on my heart for a very long time, maybe forever, and it doesn’t want me to go another year without what it deems, ‘serious progress’.
The fear is that I might make incremental change but it won’t amount to enough. It wants monumental, life-altering change. I’ve done a lot of work over the year with this part so it’s not feeling really charged or insistent. It’s just reminding me that we still want that dream, don’t forget it, don’t settle, we can’t settle.
It needs me to promise that I am committed, devoted to this dream and that I will never give up on it, ever. But it’s also holding a little bit of fear about what might actually happen if the dream is realised and also some fear about failing. We can’t fail, we just can’t.
My excited, hopeful part is also related to my big desire and dream. It’s reminding me how amazing it feels. It wants me to stop thinking about it as a future state and instead, feel it now, all the time, like it’s normal and natural and my true state, because it is.
It’s less concerned about ‘achieving the thing’ like the fear part. It just loves the feeling, the energy of my big dream, and it wants me to know that the feeling contains so much potential, even more magic than the fear part can imagine. It wants me to bottle the feeling. Get excited and stay excited! Never lose hope, dream the biggest, wildest dream possible!
I’ve been working with this part throughout the year also. It’s energy has always been present in my system but it hasn’t always been given enough airtime because other more worried or fearful parts have crowded it out. It needs more space to be present and be felt more often.
This reflection feels very true and representative of my year. It’s really the core of my experience this year, this oscillation between believing in the dream and doubting it. Next year, we want the balance to shift in favour of bigger belief and fewer doubts.
Now it’s your turn…over to you!
You can either read through the description of the process above and go through your own inner reflection or you can listen to my guided process and pause the recording to spend longer at any section.
You’re then invited to journal and record your responses.
You can also repeat this process as many times as you like if you feel there is more to explore.
And you can use this process at any time of the year too.
I do hope you find the process of processing your year helpful. Please feel free to post any questions or comments in the comments section or hit reply to this email.
I’ll be back next week, with a final newsletter for the year. Until then, love to you and yours!
