What if I told you this...
You know that feeling when you’re in the midst of a creative project and you just don’t know.
You don’t know where’s it's going. You don’t know whether it will actually turn into anything of value. You don’t know whether its worth continuing or quitting.
It always happens, doesn’t it? We begin with a spark of inspiration or intuition. We get stuck into it and then we get stuck or we get unsure or we get overwhelmed or we get overcome with doubt.
Basically, it boils down to a lack of clarity. If we had clarity then we’d plough ahead, finish the damn thing, do it.
That’s ultimately the goal, isn’t it? Create the thing. Complete the thing.
Sure, in one sense. But I’ve come to realise that creativity is much sneakier than that. Creating and completing the thing is actually not creativity’s true purpose. Not really.
Do you know what creativity really wants to do? It wants to grow us.
Like a garden (and yes, we are the garden in this metaphor) it wants to sun and water us but also blow us around in the wind and cloud us over in darkness.
That’s when things really get interesting. That’s when we have to sink into the soil’s depths and stay strong. That’s when we have to trust and take on all conditions and trust some more.
And that’s where lack of clarity is actually a savour.
Firstly, it slows us down. It says, ‘Slow down, stay in the unknown, feel and listen your way through, instead of thinking too much, see what emerges. Stay in that rugged soil, dig deep.’
Secondly, lack of clarity forces us to ask questions. Not questions like: What even is this? Why am I doing this? Is this any good? But other questions like: How am I feeling? Can I stay here even when things are unclear? Can I be in the process?
You can’t slow down, be in the unknown and ask decent questions without noticing, being with and processing our stuff. That’s how we grow.
But then the reward!
Lack of clarity rewards us with ideas, insights and inspiration. It may not give us the whole, complete picture. It won’t necessarily lay out the ‘Create the thing. Complete the thing’ blueprint. But it normally gives us a next step.
And that’s enough, isn’t it? Sure, we may have parts within us who want to know everything. Like right now! Tell me!
But creativity knows that the sweet unfolding of ideas, insights and inspiration, captured while we bask in the sun, bear the wind and rain, and rest in the dark, that’s when something special is born.
Not what our mind wanted us to make but the thing that really wants to be here. The thing that will really resonate with others. The thing that grew us beyond where we were before.
That’s been my contemplation this month: I’ve been asking myself, Why do I need to know?
It’s a profound question. One I’ve never really bothered to ask myself. Those parts just want to know! Like right now!
Then they won’t feel uncertain or out of control or uncomfortable. But I know that sometimes not knowing, is well, liberating.
When we don’t know, anything is possible. There’s pure potential. Pure creative potential, a becoming for both ourselves and our creative project.
Here’s a few things that have come through for me this month because I stopped needing to know…
I got some new insights about publishing my books!
I got a great idea for how to make the publishing experience fun!
I got inspired to write this post!
And most importantly, I grew a little bit more into myself.