We care a lot

Yes, We care a lot is the name of a Faith No More song but it also points to the reality of being a person in the world who cares for children, other family members, pets, community groups, even yourself.

We do care a lot.

Most of my life I saw caring and creativity as being at loggerheads. The caring took away from the creativity, for sure.

But then Nancy Reddy of the delightful Substack, Write More, Be Less Careful, posited a different hypothesis - that the intersection between caregiving and creative practice is a lot more complex and interesting than that.

By interviewing me as part of a series that explores caring and creating, I realised that I couldn’t be the creative person I am now if it weren’t for the caring. Major revelation there!

To be clear, by caregiving, Nancy doesn’t just mean kids. It’s about any form of caring for each other. And by creativity, she doesn’t just mean writing or painting or sculpture etc. She means anything that requires your devotion, energy and effort.

I’d thought I’d share a few highlights from our interview but you can read the full discussion here.

• My creative progress feels intimately aligned with the ages and stages of my children. I’ve always been creative but I had to fit my creative desires in and around my children. OMG there were so many times during their younger years that I resisted that reality, raging that it wasn’t fair, wishing it was otherwise, and resenting my husband for not having to deal with the same career constraints. They were difficult times.

• Through becoming a parent and raising my children, I’ve had to become a better person. The arrival of my children sparked a 20-year, and counting, commitment to personal growth. It began with me realising that I had a harsh and brash inner critic…I didn’t want to be that critical person or parent so I had to transform. 

• My own self-care is vital to my creativity. By self-care I don’t mean bubble baths and massages. I mean that I need to constantly nurture and care for my inner world, all those parts of me that bring gifts but also challenges.

• What I’ve realised is that caring for my parts (my inner world) is intimately linked to my creativity. Writing and putting that writing out into the world provokes many of my parts. Whenever I get a rejection on a submission or feel like I don’t know what to write or feel helpless or hopeless, that’s a part that needs my loving compassion. And whenever I help my parts, I grow my creative capacity.

• Really caring for myself began with caring for my children. My creativity would not be what it is today if it weren’t for all of that caregiving. 

  

Some things to share…

I’m reading…

Yellowface by R.F Kuang. The premise is brilliant: A young aspiring literary author steals her friend’s just finished manuscript after her friend’s unexpected death. Her friend is a literary superstar and this manuscript makes the protagnist a literary superstar over night. I’m not loving the protagonist - she’s a difficult character as you may well imagine. But the writing and the premise are keeping me reading.

I’m watching…

Season 2 of The Bear. OMG it’s so good. Chaotic, and family craziness, and human, deeply human. Deluxo chef, Carmy, and team are onto opening their own restaurant and it’s a lot. But there’s also so many poignant, character-driven quieter moments that are so compelling. A great, great show.

I’m listening to…

The vault tracks from 1989 Taylor’s Version, on repeat. And OMG WE GOT TICKETS!!!! Sorry to shout, and probably squeal a little too, but we’re pretty excited over here.

I’m eating…

Well, I made this vegan chocolate tart for some vegan friends of ours and it was ridiculously delicious and ridiculously easy. That’s my kind of recipe! And you don’t need to be vegan to enjoy it.

I’m admiring…

This view from my home office. The hills are browning as we head into spring but the bougainvilleas are blooming and the sky is blue-ing (that’s a thing right!) I’m looking forward to a bit more warmth and sunshine.

I’m doing…

Well, it’s actually what I’m not doing. I’m taking more pauses in my day. I finish writing an email, I look away from my computer for a sec. While waiting for the kettle to boil, I watch and listen to the birds. Before going back to my desk after lunch, I sit in the sun for a moment. They’re only micro moments but they do make for a much better day.

I’m processing…

My son finishes Year 12 this week. My daughter is already at university. We are about to become past parents of our school. Done. Dusted. After 16 years. Wow. Just wow! And with my son’s birthday in a couple of week’s time, it also marks the end of our reign as parents of children. We’ll soon have two adults in the house. Wow. Just wow!

If you missed it…

If you’re new to Hey, You, even if you’re not new to my list, then you might be interested in these posts:

What if I told you this… About the magic in uncertainty. Yes, there is magic in not knowing.

How to create space for what’s important… Interestingly, it’s got nothing to do with planning, scheduling or being more productive. God, no.

Welcome to your inner world… Because this is what it’s all about.

Thank you for being here. Love to you and all your loved ones.

Jodie.

xxx